I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
