I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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