Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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