Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
