I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
