some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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