Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
