Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
false alarm. still invincible.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
