All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
