He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
