Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
