u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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