"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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