Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
