do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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