Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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