Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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