Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize