i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
