you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
