she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
and she was petting her beer can
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize