We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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