I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
