I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
