at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
