So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
