okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
