so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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