they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
