Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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