when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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