My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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