Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
