No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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