im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
