She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
