hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
