If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sorry about my life...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
