So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
