The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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