Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
