Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
