i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
