So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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