Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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