My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize