please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
