the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
