omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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