This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
