Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
