So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
