I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
