There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
