I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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