Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
