:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am spending my child support on dildos
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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