Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
two words: eviction party
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
