Plan B is the new Plan A
Duck Duck Cougar?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
