stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
