it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
