Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
