Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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