she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
