Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
