he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
