Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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