U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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