Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
