playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
